As you go on your spiritual journey in this life, there were multiple lessons you had to go through but one major lesson stood out for me. Not just a major but a lifelong lesson. I am sure you can relate to this. I will explain more in a minute. This lesson began after birth. You’ve been introduced to and conditioned by the environment but at the same time, you’re figuring out who you are, what you really want and how do you find your purpose in this life. The learning about self begin as soon as three years old (or earlier).
The interaction between my daughter and nephew inspired me to write this blog. As kids, we all know how important toys are to us. You also learned that bigger, faster, and better technical toy was always better. Basically, having better toys meant you were ‘better’ and it defined your worthiness.
An instance occurred when I bought a Minnie Mouse mini-car for my two years old daughter. My daughter was elated with her new toy and started riding it immediately. She was showing off her new mini-car to everyone. Her self-esteem and pride were beaming. My four years old nephew saw the new toy and became sad immediately. His self-esteem went downhill instantly because he did not have the same car.
I understand children were emotionally immature but the experience made an impact on his self-esteem. While my daughter was enjoying her new toy, my nephew demanded for the same car for himself because my nephew saw my daughter was overjoyed and he also wanted that same happiness.
In that moment, my nephew compromised who he was by being jealous and made a demand based on others’ blessings. Naturally my emotional immature nephew responded by being pouty but when he can hold back his emotional reaction and reflect on his response, a mature response would be like this, “Wow! Look at that cool car! Can I borrow your car sometimes?” In that response, one replaced their weakness, e.g., jealous, low self-esteem, anger, and etc. with strength.
It also increased one’s self-esteem by supporting and praising one’s success and achievements. If my nephew could understand that sharing the car also means sharing happiness, both my daughter and nephew would be very supportive of each other’s blessings. Supporting one other also flourish each others’ self-esteem. It was not easy to be supportive but it tells a lot about your character and strength. It also created a sense of contentment knowing that you can be happy for other people. In that moment, you became a bigger person.
When you can put aside your negative reactions in order to show your support for others, you also learned to not allow it compromise who you are. This lesson seemed to be a very common issue today due to the conditioning by the societal expectations. Honestly, I do not think that being jealous was necessarily bad but a motivation to attain the same goal for yourself. When you reacts strongly negative against others, it was a merely reflection of you. What you see in others was exactly what you see in yourself and what you want for yourself. Everyone was a mirror to you.
Believe me I know it’s not fun to be jealous or sad because someone have more success or a better life than mine, however, it ignited fire in me to work harder to obtain a life of my dream. It was how I find positivity in the experience. Staying positive was what motivated me and made me a better person.
The point was to stop compromising who you are. Instead of allowing the society molds who you are, allow your happiness molds who you are. This was a major lesson stood out this past year for me personally. Although, I have been on a healing journey for a long time and you would think I’ve figured everything out but this lesson repeated for a reason. This lesson was extremely uncomfortable but it had to repeat itself until I see, understand, and finally pass the lesson.
This particular lesson repeated in an intimate relationship. I spoke about my boundaries but I was criticized for being too ‘manly’ and/or ‘tough.’ I became confused and I thought I might be a bit tough only because I wanted my friend to like me. I’ve been told I have been difficult to deal with mainly because of my bluntness and hard exterior. I thought I would put aside my emotional needs to reach a compromise with my friend but it was a major mistake. I compromised myself in order to please my friend. Afterwards, I found myself feeling sad and confused more than ever. That was a significant red flag.
This relationship showed me that I’ve not passed the lesson yet. There were mixed emotions overwhelming me and it affected my self-esteem. It was not just about compromising who you are but there’s also a deeper issue within. It was a self-esteem and self-worthiness issue. This lesson does not mean to be mastered at and be incredibly self-confident but it’s a practice. With practice, you become stronger and confident to ask exactly what you need and want. In the meantime, your vibrations increase greatly to a point where it pushes away lower energies and become attractive to loving and supportive people who push you to reach your higher self.
I am sure you’ve all experienced similar situation where you’ve allowed your ego fears get the best of you and compromised yourself to duplicate others’ happiness. The big question to ask yourself when you find yourself in a compromising position is do you really want it or do you want it because other people have or want it? I compromised who I am once again mainly because of my low self-worthiness. This relationship woke me up and forced me to face myself. This lesson had to repeat to show me that I am WORTHY of the best kind of love, honor, and respect no matter what.
That goes for you, too. We all compromise ourselves at some point in our lives for multiple reasons but in the end, it doesn’t always turn out what you expect or meet your needs. It was most likely there was no such good reason to compromise who you are. Please don’t ever compromise who you are. Listen to your feelings. Always honor your body signals because it is your intuition alerting you whether it is not good or good for you.
You are one of a kind. Embrace your uniqueness because right people will come to you. They will embrace your uniqueness and celebrate who you are. This is your one chance to be who you really are. Stop compromising who you are. You wholeheartedly deserve happiness. Use happiness as your biggest motivation and reason when you find yourself in a compromising position. Follow your happiness.