Day 38: Full Moon
As I was sitting in the back of car, I was admiring the illuminating full moon in the dark. I was on a road trip to New York. There were a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I love this opportunity to do nothing but sit and think. I know I haven’t written in my blog lately. There were a lot of things going on as well as new revelations.
Last week I closed my heart because I don’t want to open my eyes anymore. There was a moment where I wished I didn’t open my eyes. The road as a Psychic Medium have ups and downs. I was down last week. Yes, I’ve allowed my fear about future sneaked in my mind. I was tired of working so much on myself because my Spirit Guide showed me what’s ahead of the path. I did not like what I see. I stopped myself. My gift was accelerating rapidly and I needed to stop myself.
My Spirit Guide told me to not to stop. “You’re doing great. Keep going. This is just a bump in the road but you’ll get over it just like many bumps you overcame. Your gift is growing quickly for a reason. It’s you. It’s a part of your mission. Keep going on. Continue with your work. They love your light. Bright light.”
The more I work on myself and my gift, the more the path become awakening. In a sense, I was in a rude awakening. My third charka uncovered the wool covering it and showed me the true colors behind people and situations. I’ve always knew but I couldn’t understand and dismissed the messages my Spirit guide tried to tell me.
Last Sunday, I arranged a meeting with a friend to discuss about the reason behind our communication breakdown. We began talking but I felt my throat cut off and it took me a while to work up courage to ask her why. To my surprise (but not really surprised), basically my baby was the cause. As a new, first time, and single Mom, it was all about baby obviously. I devoted my time focusing on my beautiful daughter. My mama bear instinct came out and I became “territorial,” according to my friend. Absolutely. Of course I was “territorial” Mom to ensure my daughter’s needs were met. My friend also thought I came off as “too strong.” She thought that giving me time and space was something I needed. My friend also was waiting for me to contact her and let her know that I’m ready to re-join the world. (By the way, almost two years has already passed.) I sat there thinking, “what the hell..?” Old memories were running through my mind where I was patient and understanding when she was going through the very exactly same phase after having her babies. Can you blame me for feeling annoyed with her for not being patient and understanding? Especially when I never gave up on our friendship but yet she was giving up on me?
At that point, I began questioned her loyalty to our friendship. I left feeling uneasy. My insides were shaking with disgusting and utterly disappointment. Although, we resolved some of it but I was still disappointed for allowing her hurt me. That conversation was on my mind for few days. I told my sister and friend about it. They reacted the same. Dumbfounded. I felt stupid and crazy after our conversation. Those feelings I always have for years. No such friends would do this to other friends especially long term friendship. It was also a sign that my path took a different way, steering me away from people and situations that does not have a purpose in my life anymore. Utterly disappointed, yes, but there’s nothing I can do. The only way I can do was to move on.
This trip to East Coast came in at perfect timing, especially during the Full Moon. I needed this trip to get away and clear my mind. It also forced me to dig deeper and think about what do I need to release under the Full Moon. I have few things in my mind. I pray that the Universe will help me find my path and guide me to spiritually friends who will love and support me no matter what or how hard life gets.
“I believe a lot of things happen for a good reason. That reason is because it strengths us and makes us see the beauty in everything. The next time your head is down, look up you have a purpose. He brought you here for a reason.” -X.Z.