Day 29: I Just Wanted to Be Me
I smiled because I wanted to stay positive. I smiled because it was a natural thing. I smiled because I was an optimist. I smiled because it was me but sometimes its hard to smile. Today I was talking to my Spirit Guide more about this new direction I am on. I found myself feeling sad. My Spirit Guide was showing me signs and things I missed based out of fear and desire. Desire was based on lust, desperate, false hope, and physical wants. I found myself feeling sad when I realized what I was doing was the exactly same thing I have been doing for years. I thought I was going into a different and positive direction but no. I had my Ah-ha! moment last night. The revelation made me sad because it was hurting my growth and I need to accept the new direction they opened up to me.
Before I put my foot down on the new direction, I need to find what’s really making me sad. I was always working on myself and healing myself. I loved to help my clients gain insights into their path. Absolutely there’s no question about that. Sometimes, its tiring to be strong all the time. Sometimes, I just wanted to be me. Giving myself a permission to feel sad. Sometimes I just wanted to be me. Why am I feeling sad? Perhaps I’ve always knew I was in the wrong direction and I did not want to face the reality. Perhaps I was blocking myself the whole time. This new direction was coming for a while to show me that I need to allow myself to feel sad and BE ME.
Sometimes, your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. -unknown