Day 18: Sharp Tongue
This might be the most difficult thing I’ll write. First of all, my intention for this particular blog was not to offend anyone but I wanted to show you how I communicate with my Spirit Guide by sharing my true feelings and thoughts. Please keep in mind that it is part of my healing and how I work on myself. My blog is a sacred place where I can safely pour my feelings and thoughts. I found that as I write, I discovered the reasoning behind my ego fears. I tried to type authentically as much as I could. I’m taking a huge risk by sharing this blog because I know it might come off as offensive or come off as righteous. I am a work in progress. This is an opportunity to show and admit my flaws with intention of showing you that I am way far from perfection as well as improving myself. I would love to hear your feedback. Two nights ago, I had a dream about my sharp tongue and that I need to watch how I talk. I shared it with my Psychic friend of mine for her interpretation. She said, “You need to be more sensitive and put yourself in other’s shoes.” I slightly disagreed with her on that. I told her that I always have good intention behind telling the truth. Telling the truth came from a place of love. I wanted to see other to see the best in themselves. I was trying to bring the best out of them.
I was often known for my bluntness. It was often looked down and criticized. Many times, I was told to soften my delivery of truth. Truthfully, I hated it when they said that because I do not know any other way of telling the truth in a way that put people at ease. It just came to my mind, then I told it like it was. I’ve always felt stupid after hearing criticism but I was mostly frustrated that they did not see the good intention behind it. For years, I’ve always see the truth in others without realizing it. Now that I was aware of my ability of seeing beyond the veil, I learned I’ve always been communicating with Spirits and I rely the messages without realizing it. People did not take it well. I could sense their energy became tense after telling them the truth. I guess it came with being a Psychic Medium.
There were too many instances to share but I remembered one time my friend and I were talking about relationships. I expressed my opinions about her estranged baby daddy who was always inconsistent being in the baby’s life. I told my friend that I thought her baby’s daddy was being a little bitch who was always evading his responsibilities. I also told her, “don’t waste your energy chasing after him to take responsibilities for his actions. I would just quit doing that and start focusing on your relationship with your daughter because one day soon or later, karma will come to him.” Later on, I found out through a bird that she was partaking in a sexual relationship with her baby’s daddy. I thought, oh wow, my friend must felt shamed and embarrassed when I kept saying little bitch, little bitch but I understand why I felt I had to tell her the truth because that was her truth. Fast forward to few years later after that conversation, my friend and baby daddy were sharing a joint custody LEGALLY for first time in YEARS. My friend had difficult finding her confidence to stand up to him and often gave her power away but after years of giving away her power, she was fed up and got tired of her baby daddy’s bullshit.
Another instance was when I used to share a house with a family. Their brother often came to the house to use the washing machine. He used to live at the house and have some ownership of the house. He had a tendency of walking in unannounced. My friend had problems with him for different reasons based on disrespect and lack of communication. One night I was alone by myself. I noticed that there were wet clothes sitting in the washing machine and I thought I would put them into the dryer machine to help my friend with their laundry. Half hour later, I noticed those clothes were on the top of the dryer machine. I realized that someone moved them. I found the brother in the backyard hanging out with his friends. I asked him if he moved it. He claimed he needed to use it. “BUT I was using it FIRST,” I was puzzled. The brother had a smirk on his face and continued trying to intimidate me. I went back into the house and put the clothes back in the dryer. The brother got very upset and confronted me. We were in a very brief yelling match. He tried to up me by saying he owned the house but I told him, “you don’t even communicate with us that you were coming by. Did you text your brother that you were coming to use the washing machine? None of this will happen if you could just text your brother, letting him know you’re coming.” I refused let him take away my power and respect. I demanded him to show me and us respect by communicating with us. Needless to say, few days after the incident the brother was taking actions by sending his brother a text message. He was communicating more.
I know this seemed like a form of intimidation and very rude when I should have taken a high road and be more tactful. I felt threatened by the brother’s energy and I was all alone by myself. Somehow, the brother’s truth sneaked in somewhere in that experience. I knew it should be done in a tactful way but I was very overprotective of my friends and they often expressed their frustration about the lack of communication on the brother’s part. During the yelling match, the truth came to me out of nowhere and I blurted it out without thinking. Ah, my Spirit Guide was reminding me to think twice before speaking. AH! I was asking them to please tell me the truth in a way you would want me to rely WITH tact.
Ohh, my Spirit Guide was also saying to remember that the truth I was telling was not my truth but their truth. He was asking me to remind people that I was relying their truth. That’s perhaps why people felt offended when I was being straightforward with them. They probably thought I was nagging, criticizing, and or pushing my opinions into their throat. No, no, that’s not the case at all. I was TRYING to help them to see THEIR TRUTH.
Ah, phew! Writing this blog was out of my comfort zone. I thought about deleting this and not sharing this but my Spirit Guide kept saying, “It’s okay. You need to do this to see it for yourself. Allow them to see your true self and vulnerability. Yes, your flaws as well. There’s nothing to be ashamed. This shall help other people to understand the meaning behind their actions and way of thinking. I am proud of you.”
Everyone have flaws. It’s a beauty of being a human. I have way too many flaws but I am working on them. I pray that this blog provokes your thoughts and inspires you to see your truth. Think very carefully about it. Sleep on it. Write down your thoughts and flaws. It is so hard to admit your flaws but it will help you see the truth in them. Flaws are based on ego fears. The more you see the truth, the more you release ego fears.
Three things that can not hide for so long: the Moon, the Sun, and the Truth. -Hermann Hesse